"Forever" is, sadly, not another "Highlander"

As always, Nerd Novice is chock full of spoilers. You have been warned.

When I first saw the commercial spot for the upcoming pilot episode of “Forever” on ABC, I have to admit, I was intrigued. Mainly because I thought this could potentially be a 2014 version of “Highlander.” Man is immortal, flashbacks ensue, mysterious lore is involved, etc. Game on. I’m a fan of fantasy television.

Last night the pilot aired after a particularly grueling episode of “Dancing With the Stars” (Sorry, Mom), and I have to admit, I’m about 80% unimpressed.

We really didn’t need another crime drama, people. The scene where Dr. Henry Morgan sliced open the dead body of the subway conductor—oh yeah, the immortal guy is a medical examiner who deals with dead people on the regular—kinda made my stomach lurch. He was swishing around in there. I mean there were gurgly sounds and fleshy things. Look, I’m not a wuss, but the reason why I enjoy “Castle” and “Murder, She Wrote,” besides their mystery-author-becomes-mystery-solver similarities, is the fact that they aren’t too heavy on the gory details. Not that “Forever” is gory. I just have a feeling they won’t be shy with the whole blood-and-guts thing.

I digress. The dead body wasn’t the reason why I am mostly unimpressed with this show. It’s just… Making your show have a cool edge like IMMORTALITY, and then copping out and throwing it into the saturated CRIME DRAMA genre is just lame.

Speaking of crime, one thing I did not understand is how the bad dude poisoned the conductor behind the ear without him realizing. I mean, was that ever explained? Why do actors mumble on television? Half the time I can’t understand what the heck they are saying.

We could have a great and entertaining show with “Forever.” Something along the lines of, seemingly normal guy has a supernatural problem, and he’s just trying to figure out his shit and live his life, man. But other supernatural problems occur because that’s the nature of life when you’re immortal, so you find out some crazy stuff about your past, and you’re searching for the Truth, and all along you gain some righteous experience points, and inevitably a pretty lady finds out your secret (which endangers her but brings you closer together), and by the way, you are pretty badass with a sword. Just watch “Highlander” to know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, “Forever,” I feel, is going to be just another crime drama. There are a few reasons why I will keep watching, though: 1) The little baby from the Concentration Camp was Abe! That was adorableeeeeee. 2) The bad guy is also immortal, it seems? Interesting… 3) Because what else am I gonna do?

It turns out the second episode is airing tonight, in the show’s regularly allotted time slot (Tuesdays at 10:00/9:00c). I’m planning on tuning in, for the sake of maybe decreasing my unimpressed percentage. We shall see. Anyone else with me?